Christen Clifford

My Parents' Sex Life on Conde Nast sex blog!

2008-06-22T03:44:00.004-04:00

Check out this interview I did with amazing Em and Lo....

I'm honored that Daily Bedpost featured (What I Know About) My Parents' Sex Life

Two Shows left!

(What I Know About) My Parents' Sex Life

BabeLand park slope!

2008-06-20T23:12:00.002-04:00

If I wasn't performing BabyLove that night, this is where I'd be!

Sexy Moms Welcome Night

BabeLand Park Slope

Tuesday June 24th, 7-9 pm

2008-06-15T01:20:00.004-04:00

A first draft of my new show (What I Know About) My Parents' Sex Life goes up at P.S. 122

on Thursday. From nursing homes to granny porn, from my father's Viagra prescription to my mother's racy letters: my new show explores senior sexuality.

And I'm not the only one writing about senior sexuality, take a look at this article on Slate.

cute kids stuff

2008-06-03T22:12:00.002-04:00

I know I usually write sex and motherhood, but I can't resist sharing this sample sale- super cute kids stuff.kit.doc

wed june 4, 12- 6

thurs and friday june 5 and 6, 10-6

481 B'way 'tween Broome and Canal, 2nd floor

$10-$38!!!!

BabyLove Off Broadway - Critic's Pick! "Hilarious!"- 4 stars! Time Out New York

2008-06-01T08:40:00.002-04:00

BabyLove is pick of the week in New York Magazine!

2008-06-01T08:38:00.002-04:00

is PICK OF THE WEEK in

Magazine!!!!

Sexy Mama Take #4 - sexy mom self image

2008-06-01T07:43:00.002-04:00

After I gave birth, I felt disfigured and damaged. I was. I had stitches and was injured there. I shook. Immediately I decided - this isn't happening. No one must know. I started doing Kegels obsessively.

I worked hard at trying to keep my sexual self image after my son was born....but it felt like a lie. I was wearing black lace bras and ripped down the front wife beaters to show off my milk bar, but I was terrified of intercourse. I did heal and we did eventually resume our sexual life, however my self image had changed. I was trying to subvert the image of the sexless mother, but only on the surface. It took me a few years to come to terms with myself- my changed body, my relationship with my husband and son, with myself.

I'm of two minds about the Angelina Jolie/yummy mummy phenom: on one hand, I want to be one, of course I do. But on the other, I feel like I can never live up to that. It just creates another thing for women to feel bad about themselves...it doesn't provide us with a real view of sexuality and motherhood. The horniness of pregnancy, yes, but celebrities don't show us passing blood clots for weeks afterwards, stretch marks, nipples a mile long from breastfeeding, or the lovely but strange eroticism of loving a new human being that just came out of your body.

I'm pregnant now, and totally into my body: my breasts are full, I'm wearing tight clothes to show off the belly and boobs...and I'm aware this will be last time I'll feel like this. Full, all that extra blood, walking anticipation.

Sexy Mama Take #3 - Quickies versus Special nights: scheduling sex

2008-05-19T22:05:00.004-04:00

First of all, I never thought I would have to schedule sex. I thought it would come back right away after our son was born. I had heard tell of couples who didn't have sex for (gasp!) 4 months after the baby was born and I was sure we would never be one of them. My partner Ken and I would be back to sex after a few weeks, tops.

It took us seven months.

Well, we had one afternoon of touching and orgasms at about five months, which reassured us that my equipment still worked. But I was too scared to have intercourse. Until finally I couldn't believe that it had been seven months and I just said to him one day after the three of us came home from afternoon stroll and Felix was still asleep in his stroller, "How about we take the chance he stays asleep and actually have sex?"

And now, we schedule sometimes and enjoy quickies. We had a quickie this morning, our son was up late so I knew he'd sleep in a little this morning. I woke up and woke Ken up slowly. Afterwards, we heard noise coming from his room, and realized our door was open. I panicked and thought he'd woken up and seen us and then gone back to his room to play. A few held breaths later, we realized it was just him turning in his sleep.

We have occasionally hired a babysitter for special night out, and more than once planned special nights in, after the little one has gone to sleep.

We even dropped our son off for an overnight at friends (who were not exactly dying to have an almost two-year-old stay over-- they were newly engaged and I'm afraid we terrified them) and we got a last minute deal on a four star hotel room and had awesome hotel sex over and over and over until check out.

And now, since I'm pregnant, I'm starting to plan for some sex adventures, knowing that come November, I'll be in time out for a little awhile.

Bubble bath and Edgy Moms

2008-05-16T02:03:00.006-04:00

As part of this sexy mamas blog, Babeland sent me some products (and I have some to give away!) including Evening Rapture Bubble Bath. Now I know they meant this as a way to get me in the mood with my partner, but I confess...I ran out of Johnson and Johnson's so I used the Babeland product for Felix. I got in too, to make me feel less guilty about sharing something that was supposed to be just for grown ups.

He proclaimed it "excellent...lots of bubbles....we can make bubble sculptures mommy!" And so we did. We both smelled nice afterwards and our skin was not dried out.

I did the Edgy Moms reading at the Montauk Club in Brooklyn tonight. The packed audience went from raucous laughter to teary silence; Amy Sohn and Louise Crawford organized a super event. I read an awfully randy scene from BabyLove, Amy read a funny essay about a 2's programs application and competitive motherhood; and Louise told a story about watching her son perform at Bowery Poetry Club. Also on the bill was Amy Benfer, who I loved. She read a very moving account of her teen aged pregnancy, and her 18 year old daughter was there too. Also: Michele Madigan Somerville, who has ensured that I will never look at Elmo the same way again; Lenore Skenazy, who controversially let her 9 year old son take the subway by himself (I'm planning on letting Felix start when he's 7); Sophia Romero the Shiksa from Manila; and Louise Sloan, who hilariously told a tale from her book Knock Yourself Up. It was a wonderful evening and I was thrilled to be a part of it. Claire Cavanagh was in attendance as well, getting ready to open a new Babeland store in Park Slope. Hmmm...perhaps call it the Horny Mom store?

Sexy Mama Take #2- Babeland Giveaways!

2008-05-04T07:57:00.004-04:00

My four and half year old son has had a lot of questions about erections lately, and sometimes I get a little flustered. He hopped into our bed this morning with this:

"Mommy I noticed something unusual - this part of my body got hard twice in the night."

What was he doing awake twice in the night?

"That's normal honey. It's called an erection and it happens to all boys. Sometimes it happens at night and sometimes it happens during the day..." I notice he's got one. "And sometimes, it happens in the morning."

My son's voice drops to a worried whisper. "Can you make it- go away?"

"It usually doesn't last for too long, honey. It happens to daddy in the morning too and it usually goes away after he makes pee pee." I woke up my husband and asked him to take over. After all, I don't have one.

Tell me a story about how you talk to your kids about sex and I'll have Babeland send you a surprise gift!

Sex night planner

2008-05-01T22:16:00.005-04:00

Babeland just sent me an email about Sexual Spontaneity that included this image from a magnetic game it sells. Honestly, I don't want this on my fridge because my son could read it, but wow would I LOVE this as an online game! Or a private Facebook application that I would actually use. Somebody please make this sex planner into a calendar site that works.

Christen Clifford

BabyLove

Sexy Mama Take #1- Sex Positive Families

2008-05-01T00:07:00.006-04:00

I'm so excited that Babeland invited me to be part of their Sexy Mama Blogs for the month of May! I think it's so important to talk about sex and motherhood. We are such a sexually open society yet there are so many things that still have that Puritan influence and remain taboo. The deep, big changes that happen to a woman's sexuality when she becomes a mother are rarely discussed and I'm happy to be a part of this conversation.

For the past few years, I've been touring my show BabyLove, which chronicles my experiences with sex and new motherhood and maternal sexuality is one of my favorite topics. BabyLove is now running Off Broadway at 45 Bleecker with giveaways from Babeland. Today at the Wednesday "Mommy Matinee" I had this beautiful pregnant women sitting smack in the center and she was just this wonderful beacon of energy and I loved telling my stories to her, and I also loved giving her a Babeland Bullet with the advice to take some "Mommy Time" after her baby was born.

In the show I talk about wanting to raise my son Felix, now 4 and 1/2, in a sex positive household.

But it took me a long time to figure out how to be sexual again after becoming a mother, so when I first thought that I wanted to raise my son in a sex-positive household I only knew what that meant in the abstract, I literally didn't understand the specifics. And then I progressed to- "Well, that would mean a household where sex is actually being had..."

And now that my son is almost 5, and I'm pregnant again, raising him in a sex positive household means:

not shying away from explanations of how babies are made ( This is a great book)
expressing my affection for my partner in front of my child
trying (!) to kiss my partner before my child when I walk in the door
talking about all the different kinds of families we know ("X has two daddies and Y has two mommies and Z has two mommies and a dad")
answering all questions honestly and with facts
expressing my need for privacy
teaching him about privacy (" Does it feel good when you touch your penis? Great! It's supposed to. I know it feels good, but it's best to do that in your room where you can have some privacy.")

Today my son came to the theatre with me and while he was going through my prop box he found the bag of giveaways from Babeland.

"What are these?" he asked.

"Toys for grown ups," I answered.

He put them down and ran through the shiny mylar curtain, happy with that explanation.

-Let me know what you think, and how you try to have a sex positive family...

BabyLove opens Off Broadway, Gothamist interview

2008-04-17T23:44:00.004-04:00

In anticipation of BabyLove opening Off Broadway April 27th, I was interviewed by one of my favorite websites, Gothamist. I feel honored!

Link here:

http://gothamist.com/2008/04/17/christen_cliffo.php

BabyLove opens Off Broadway

2008-04-04T23:22:00.003-04:00

After many years of development and touring and one night stands, BabyLove is getting a run at 45 Bleecker, presented by 45 Bleecker and Hourglass Group. Yay! More here www.babylovetheplay.com

not me, the other Kristen

2008-03-16T15:02:00.002-04:00

courtesy my fiend Doug.

The Business of Being Born

2008-01-30T16:25:00.000-05:00

I just finally saw The Business of Being Born. Also known as “that movie that you can see Ricki Lake giving birth in.” There are about seven absolutely gorgeous natural births in the film… a must see for everyone. As I’m writing this in a coffee shop in the West Village I just overheard a woman in huge white fur boots say, “I had a friend who planned her C-section around her child’s horoscope, she didn’t want her kid born on the cusp of Taurus and Gemini!” That woman needs to see this movie.

My only fault with it was that I felt it didn’t give enough context for some of the experts. (Ina May Gaskin, the godmother of Midwifery, is in the film and I love her- Go buy her books!) Dr. Michel Odent who was also a pioneer in natural birthing (specifically water birth) is on camera a lot and goes on about at length about oxytocin being the hormone of love and I’m into that, but I didn’t like that filmmaker Abby Epstien, who had a premature birth in a hospital (as I did) in the film, is made to believe that she didn’t “bond” with her baby, whom she clearly adores, because it wasn’t a home birth. I call BS on that.

I was also happy to see in the film the amazing midwife Cara, who did the home births of almost all of my friends’ babies, including my friend C’s twins. Twins birthed at home- I am still in awe.

This is good quick doc about Natural Birth, with references:
ftp://ftp.uu.net/.vol/2/government/etext-poli/Spunk/texts/pubs/openeye/sp000946.txt

Real Live Women/Hourglass Solo Lab at Bowery Poetry Club

2007-11-15T13:17:00.000-05:00

I have the beginnings of a brand new solo piece going up in December with the Hourglass Group, scary to be doing something new, and it's tentatively called "My Parents' Sex Life" - I'm sure my brothers and sisters will be *thrilled*...
It's Dec 14th at the Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery at Bleecker, at 8pm, and it's part of the Hourglass Solo Lab, an amazing group of female solo performers...please come! More info at www.hourglassgroup.org.

BabyLove in Toronto/Christen in New Yorker

2007-10-18T11:52:00.000-04:00

I only use this blog to write about performance dates, I never write about how hard and lonely and frustrating being a writer and solo perfromer are. I've been very down lately. But I'm here to brag, again. I'm doing BabyLove at The Association for Research on Mothering this weekend in toronto, and my picture was in The New Yorker this week, in the advertorial for The Moth. I know it might be weird to brag an advertorial, but it may be the only time I'm ever in The New Yorker, so I'll take what I can get!

http://www.yorku.ca/arm/index.html

ARM%20one%20page%202007.doc

NYFA award!

2007-06-10T22:02:00.000-04:00

I got a blue ribbon! I felt like the best cow at a county fair!

It was really lovely; and it's an honor to be the 2007 Gregory Millard Fellow in Nonfiction Literature from the New York State Foundation for the Arts. My friend Amanda took these:

Chicks 'n' Giggles at Mo Pitkin's

2007-05-15T15:01:00.000-04:00

I'm really excited about this, these are very cool and funny chicks who invited me to be part of their funny.

BabyLove at Galapagos

2007-05-08T11:32:00.000-04:00

I did a reading of some of BabyLove at Galapagos lat night too, as part of SMUT, and all these young women were really excited by it, "I feel like you are who I am going to be in a few years and we need you to tell us this stuff!" it was so sweet. And made me feel like I am doing good in the world.

Say So! speak out against rape

2007-04-17T14:36:00.000-04:00

I'll be telling a story (with recorded audio) at this event, I'm on at 3pm in Union Square.

Say So! NYC Against Rape - Activists and Performers
Union Square Park
Friday April 20th, 2007

http://www.nycagainstrape.org/saam_2007.html

My Official Comedy debut at Mo Pitkins!

2007-04-10T17:08:00.000-04:00

My official comedy debut at Mo Pitkins!

So I've never considered myself a comedian, just someone who tells some funny stoires. But now, I'm in a comedy lineup. So I'm a comedian. I'm terrified. I think it will be like storytelling, but even funnier if you drink more.

Chicks'n'Giggles @ Mo Pitkins

SPECIAL EVENT! May 15:

Chicks and Giggles: Got MILF?
Part of the Mamapalooza Festival

Featuring:

Christen Clifford (solo show BabyLove: Best Of Fringe San Francisco Fringe, Audience Award at the Frigid Festival)
Jane Condon (2007 Last Comic Standing; Winner, Ladies of Laughter)
Judy Gold (25 Questions for a Jewish Mother; HBO)
Lisa Landry (Comedy Central Presents; Southern Belles of Comedy Tour)
Kerri Louise (Two Funny on WE; Aspen and Montreal Festivals)

more info here:http://chicksandgiggles.com/

special day-after-Mother's Day BabyLove at Galapagos

2007-04-10T17:05:00.000-04:00

BabyLove at Galapagos and Mo Pitkins- Mother's Day shows

I'll be doing BabyLove at Galapagos Artspace on Monday May 14th in the back room at 7:30pm.

Rock on Williamsburg Mommies!!!!

Great drinks, and stay afterwards for burlesque!

More info:http://www.galapagosartspace.com/

And I'll be in MILF, a special chicks'n'giggles at Mo Pitkins on Tuesday May 15th as part of the Mamapalooza! festival.

BabyLove wins AUDIENCE AWARD!!!

2007-04-02T21:35:00.000-04:00

Yay! BabyLove won another award!

BabyLove won the Audience Award at The Frigid Festival at The Kraine Theatre.

Now I'm looking forward to taking the show to the UNO festival in Victoria, British Columbia.

More info here:
http://intrepidtheatre.com/intrepidtheatre/Uno/UnoInfo06.html